Are people inherently good or bad?

I have long struggled with this question since I was a child, when I tried to find the best in everyone. I often had an ideal outlook that all people really are good and are always looking out for my best interests. With years and experience, I have come to the realization that people are inherently bad. We are all sinners. By nature, as humans, we have all rebelled against God, and it is only through His son, Jesus Christ, that we are redeemed. It was a long process for me to come to terms with the fact that the root of all people is evil and not goodness, that we "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" -Romans 3:23. This realization also made me take a deeper look within myself and see that I need help. I desperately need help and God's grace. While I will say that I have gotten better with guarding what I say, I am very much aware of negative thoughts that flood my mind. Naturally, I tend to think negative things about others and assume the worst even when I don't have a reason to feel that way. I am often consumed with worry over what might happen, and this worry has pointed out the obvious unbelief in my life. If I am constantly worrying about my circumstances, then I am not trusting God and His control over my life. I am not surrendering myself to Him. I pray that God will open my eyes to my sinful nature and how nothing I have done has brought me to accept Christ and His salvation.

Commitment to Hard Work

I am a firm believer that if a task is extremely hard to do, it must be incredibly worth it. The rewards will certainly surpass the time you might spend putting in extra elbow grease to get something done. I am no stranger to hard work. I lived most of my teen years with my mom and two brothers. My home life was unstable, and I often felt responsible for taking care of my siblings. For whatever reason, I was motivated to begin a rigorous cleaning regimen that took over all of my afternoons after school. I'm not sure if the house was always as unorganized as it seemed, or if I was cleaning compulsively to gain control over my life at home and mask my unhappiness. Regardless of the reason, those few years prepared me to work hard in my new home with my husband and son. Despite all of the unrest in my childhood home, I have tried to use it to God's glory as I can provide a neat and warm home for my family. My husband has to do NO housework. None. Nor do I believe that he should have to. I am striving to emulate what is written in Titus, as women are called to "love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled" (2:4-5). Undoubtedly I need to work on some of those traits, but working at home has always come naturally to me.

I have a difficult time understanding others who refuse to do work or those who ignore a job that needs to be done. I was recently inspired to do the hard things after reading Commitment to Love by Deanna McClary. She details the struggles she and her husband, Clebe, endured after he was severely injured in the Vietnam War. The fight to save his life and rehabilitate him led her to Christ and gave her the motivation to do the work of two people. She speaks of how foolish she was for trying to help Clebe dig several holes with a post hole digger while he was out of town. Despite the heat and the strain, she worked for two days to dig over sixty holes because it was a gift to her husband. I don't think many women would risk the dirt, sweat, tears, and even the hernia that Deanna endured. The look on Clebe's face made it all worth it. She recalls how hard her father worked: "I owe it to my father that I don't shrink from hard work, and there's not a better gift you can give a loved one than to do a difficult task for him" (193). I believe that hard work is important and even necessary for a home, business, or anything else to run smoothly and efficiently. As my hunger for work at home increases, I only hope that other women can see the value in working, and thus, loving their husbands.

Does being a mother come naturally?

Many doctors will tell you that it is perfectly normal to feel some amount of sadness postpartum. They will even tell you that you may feel disappointment and worry after your new baby arrives. This behavior is understandable and even normal for many women. However, doctors will tell you next, that if your "baby blues" last beyond two or three weeks after having your baby, something could be wrong. You could be experiencing postpartum depression (PPD). I have to say that my unhappiness definitely lasted longer than just a couple weeks after having my son. My usual reaction to most things is to worry, so of course, having a baby set me into a tailspin. I had to learn how to do so many things that I thought I already knew how to do (feed him, change him, bathe him, rock him...etc). I may have expected these things to come naturally or for my motherly instincts to kick in, but they did not. Why was this so hard for me? Why did simple tasks like getting him dressed seem overwhelming?

Perhaps I was wrong about the whole "mother" thing. I dreamed of being a naturally loving and nurturing mother, and I got so caught up in blissful motherhood that I overlooked the fact that being a mother is NOT instinctual. Not at all. In fact, being a mother takes work. Hard work. Once I realized that real grunt work would be required, I began to get used to the daily grind of motherhood and having a small baby who constantly needs me. I was never formerly diagnosed with PPD, nor am I convinced that I had it, but I exhibited many of the symptoms. It has taken me a couple of months to feel at peace with everything. That's not to say that I don't still have crazy days because I DO.

I want all women who have children or want to have children to remember that there is no perfect mother. There will be guilt over things that didn't get done or things that were never said. Guilt can consume you from the inside out. I dealt with guilt for several weeks over the difficulties of breastfeeding and not using cloth diapers. I had built myself up to be Supermom that I forgot to focus on what's really important - taking care of my son. I have let go of the notion that a bottle-fed baby in disposable diapers can't grow up in a loving home. I must have been crazy to set such high (and ridiculous) standards for myself. Instead, I am starting to focus on the Lord and what His plans are for me. He has opened my eyes to see what works for me and how I can still (readily and successfully) glorify Him while being at home. People are what's important-- my husband and my son. The race for perfection is a futile one at best.

Remember, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" -Matthew 6: 25-7